40690

Joke of the Day

"I always dump a gatorade on my head before I leave the house so people think I just won sports."

"I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom."

"I wish airplanes flapped their wings and shit on cars"

"In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups."

"Legend of Tarzan 2: Tarzan meets other primates. He befriends them all. He teaches them to fight. It's a prequel to Planet of the Apes."

"So you're all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums."

"Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round? They're wheels."

"What's the definition of Eternity? The time between when I come, and you go."

"Just found out my alcoholic uncle is into necrophilia Gives a whole new meaning to 'cracking open a cold one.'"

"Those who hesitate... masturbate"