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Joke of the Day

"In life, God is my co-pilot. Unfortunately He is on the no-fly list thanks to His ties to several extremist groups."

"Dallas Police is hiring As of Friday morning they have 5 positions to fill"

"*cocks gun* Me: ""Go ahead."" Horse: ""Just be cool, man."" Me: ""DRINK."" Horse: ""No problem. It's just a stupid expression."""

"It happens when you least expect it. Your head starts to spin. You lose control and you start falling head over heels. -winter ice/love"

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"

"Girls who use tanning beds either have no concept of what they actually look like or have advanced fantasies about being a waffle."

"What did the bisexual sperm say in the morning? UGH!! I WANTED EGGS BUT THIS TASTES LIKE ASS!!"

"what's th difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"An asian with an STD he can't cure is herpress."

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world 1) Those who are bad at maths 2) Those that are good at maths"