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Joke of the Day
"You know how they say ""you are what you eat""? I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning"
Next Joke
"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful,everything is falling out from the other side."""
"What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship? Subduction!"
"What would the gay guy's version of 50 shades of grey be? 50 shades of heeeeey."
"Apparently, the correct reply to ""Where've you been it's 3am, you're drunk & have lipstick on your collar"" is not ""You're next, fatty!"""
"I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination."
"Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook""."
"I am writing a book about the history of camping. It's all in past tents."
"They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it."
"I went to the doctor today and he told me I have a big dick and a small heart... He also told me I was dyslexic."