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Joke of the Day

"Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook""."

"Why does Africa never win Olympics Because it's a continent, You idiot"

"What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird"

"How to get free skydiving lessons. Step 1: Be gay in a Muslim country."

"I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery."

"A guy is out to dinner with his wife... Wife: See that drunk guy at the bar? Guy: Yeah, what about him? Wife: He proposed to me 10 years ago, but I turned him down. Guy: Wow! He's STILL celebrating!"

"Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: ""Daaaddy I want to go to Miaaami!"""

"How do you keep an amish girl happy? Two men a night."

"What's the difference between 10 dead hookers and a Porsche? I *don't* have a Porsche in my garage."

"How do you get the emo out of the tree? Cut the rope."