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Joke of the Day

"They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it."

"My wife said she had a doctor's appointment at 2:30. I asked her if she was sure it wasn't a dentist's appointment."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Eat map. Eat map who? NO THANKS"

"Arguing with women is like getting arrested, anything you say can and will be used against you."

"TIL I'm hung like a baby. 7 lbs. 9 oz."

"My self esteem is so low.... The other night my hand told me that it had a headache."

"The ONLY reason I haven't unfriended you yet is because you have huge boobs and I have a feeling that I would miss seeing them."

"How do you know when you have a high sperm count? Your partner has to chew before swallowing..."

"Why was the lady's hair angry? Because she was always teasing it."

"Why are drug addicts bad at billiards? Because they only pay to shoot up the eight ball"