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Joke of the Day
"My deaf girlfriend just told me to fuck off. That's not a good sign."
Next Joke
"Why did the SSD burn a flag? Because it was a Patriot Blaze"
"do these four empty jars of nutella make me look fat?"
"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."
"Bro do you even watch The Notebook and weep softly, mourning the eternal nature of love juxtaposed against the fallibility of memory, bro?"
"Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for a night. Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for the rest of their life."
"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"
"My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear."
"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."
"What does a nosey pepper do? Get Jalapeno business."