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Joke of the Day

"A guy once told me life's too short to stress, but it turned out that life's much shorter for people who give advice to stressed out people."

"What do you call a loud Trump supporter? A Trumpet."

"My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge."

"What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire? See you next period."

"Its like they say, don't judge a apple by its color because it might be a orange."

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"I like my tea like I like my women.... Plain, dark and bitter!"

"its all fun and games till someone gets hurt... then its hilarious"

"Dogs have a tendency to bark just to hear themselves bark. Reminds me of some people I know."

"Irish step dancing was discovered by women waiting in line to use the restroom."