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Joke of the Day

"""Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving"" ""Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"""

"Capcom is developing a new game based on Donald Trump... It's called President Evil."

"Eating a solid brick of Ramen is probably the easiest way to remember I need to pay the water bill."

"What did the noble gas sound like when he laughed? He He He"

"Lonely fisherman I am an excellent fly fisher. Every time my fly goes down, fishes come flocking. I am happy with what i get. But the world is filled with jealous folks, they call me master-baiter."

"I went to a seafood disco last night... ... I pulled a muscle."

"I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater."

"Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard."

"Your momma's so fat... she doesn't go back for seconds, she goes back for hours."

"Abraham Lincoln is trending. Congrats to his social media team."