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Joke of the Day
"I went to a seafood disco last night... ... I pulled a muscle."
Next Joke
"My problem with self-deprecation... is that I suck at it."
"When I get naked my shower gets turned on."
"[Ouija board] GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE"
"Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out."
"I rustle jimmies look at my name lol"
"My wife wants pay equality.... I told her I would do 1 better and gave her $1 to mow the grass."
"The bad zoo A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog. It's a shizhu"
"I asked my masseuse if it was unusual to get an erection during a massage... the masseuse replied, ""not at all it happens all the time."" So i said, ""well do you mind keeping it out of my face."""
"Life dull? Add 'or die trying' to every statement. ""I'm gonna pick up milk on the way home OR DIE TRYING."" Instant excitement."