180244

Joke of the Day

"I called into a suicide hotline And they tried to save my life, talk about misleading."

"Why do girls make a ""shhhhh"" noise while peeing and men don't? 'Cos men have a 6 inch silencer."

"Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??"

"What's al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"The number of times you say ""Don't judge me"" is directly proportional to the amount of things you do that you know are wrong."

"One of my favorite comedians Bill 1/sec(B)"

"Two blondes are waiting at a traffic light One says ""It's green."" The other ponders a few seconds, then replies ""A frog"""

"6-year-old: Can I have some Oreos? Me: You have the flu. 6: I'm sick, not dead."

"I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish."

"Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas."