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Joke of the Day

"What's do you get when you mix a zebra and a donkey? I am not sure but I think it will come out a bit zonkey"

"As I sat on the toilet this morning I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork."

"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"

"If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy."

"""Don't quote me on that."" -anonymous"

"I'm still not sure if I should throw out or keep my old pillow. I guess I better sleep on it."

"Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar."

"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."

"DESPERATION is exactly what I look for in a woman."

"What's a pirates FAVORITE letter? *They ALWAYS say Rrrrr* ""You'd think its Rrrrr but it's the sea they love"""