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Joke of the Day

"I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me"

"""BANGING BODY"" Thanks ""What's your secret?!"" I eat fireworks ""..."" BOOM"

"My heart goes out to all the single thermometers that don't get any help from the therdadeter."

"German humor... It's no laughing matter."

"There was a deaf mute who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap."

"*wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*"

"Have you guys heard about the guy who got his left side cut off? well he's all right now"

"How do you get an anorexic chick in bed? Well, it ain't a piece of cake."

"Confucius he say Man who wank into till Come into money. Source: My mate Dave at uni circa 1998."

"I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons. She did not find it humorous"