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Joke of the Day
"My heart goes out to all the single thermometers that don't get any help from the therdadeter."
Next Joke
"Other girls think they are quirky because they pet dogs at parties. I on the other hand, fear death but also long for it"
"Don't hesitate when you come to a fork in the road. Be bold. Pick that fork up and take it home. Free cutlery!"
"What do you call a Hispanic woman with no legs? Consuelo! My mother told me this one"
"What's every spider's dream job? A web designer."
"Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig."
"What do you call a kind rock Gneiss"
"What do you call a cow...? What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow that's masturbating? Beef Strokin-Off"
"I like my girls like I like my coffee... Fresh, not matured, and sold from a shady part of South America."
"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Because you have a seriously fucked up face."