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Joke of the Day

"The FineBros remind me of a movie villian... ...they revealed their master plan via monologue and were stopped before they could end the world."

"Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half."

"Apparently saying, ""You mad, bro?"" is frowned upon if you work in customer service."

"Leaving restaurant: ""That was lovely"" Outside: ""Well, it was okay"" In car: ""I mean, it wasn't great"" Back home: ""We won't go there again"""

"If my name was Rudolph Spermguzzler I would introduce myself like this: Hi, I'm Rudolph Spermguzzler, sorry if it's a bit of a mouthful."

"My girlfriend complained that there should be more women in technology So I put her in my new smart fridge"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says... ""Why the long face?"" The horse says, ""My wife was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."" The bartender says, ""Holy shit! A talking horse!"""

"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."

"Who drives away all of his customers? A taxicab driver."

"Donald Trump has cancelled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, Trump said, ""They already have a wall and fear of Muslims. My work there is done."""