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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says... ""Why the long face?"" The horse says, ""My wife was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."" The bartender says, ""Holy shit! A talking horse!"""

"What do you call a cappuccino from Dunkin Donuts? A crappucino."

"The bartender said we don't serve time travellers... Two time travellers walk into a bar"

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"Why can't bicycles stand on their own? They are two tired."

"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning"

"You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st It's the first date"

"My sex life is like finding a parking spot in town. All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one."

"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"

"My first original joke. What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?? It fro's up."