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Joke of the Day

"Apparently saying, ""You mad, bro?"" is frowned upon if you work in customer service."

"YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?! Shifting before you are driving fast enough to do so."

"A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand."

"My friend has a habit of dropping things. It's getting out of hand."

"The first time God made the universe, he skipped leg day. All men were weeping creatures, who ended in bloody torsos and begged for death."

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"What did the chauffeur say to the newlyweds as they passed the last rest stop? Speak now, or forever hold your piss."

"A Jew found some money He counted it and some was missing"

"I'm texting nothing but ugly girls from now on. They text back so fast!"

"2 eggs were on a frying pan One of them says: ""Gee, it's really hot in here!"" The other egg says: ""HOLY CRAP, A TALKING EGG!"""