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Joke of the Day

"Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other, ""Something smells a bit fishy!"""

"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."

"How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries? Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar."

"Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses."

"What did the boys do ToGetHer? Roam And Tick things.."

"What did they priest say when he got censered? Holy smoke!"

"""Hello, 911"" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad ""Is it Goofy or Pluto?"" I don't see how- ""Goofy or Pluto?"" Pluto ""Call a vet"" *hangs up*"

"Patient: Doctor I am very nervous. You know this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry it's my first extraction too."

"I asked an LAPD officer to tell me a joke All he said was ""Black teenagers civil rights"""