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Joke of the Day

"""Your finest Scotch, please."" ""Yes, sir,"" the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape."

"Six meaty inches of protein packed bliss! No joke, the actual description of the black forest ham sandwich from Subway for their October special."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven is a registered six offender."

"Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman? He impersonated a Tootsie."

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"Sometimes I spend so much time on Twitter in the bathroom that I actually pee twice."

"At first my business of selling airplanes struggled quite a bit But then it took off."

"If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. ""Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."""

"What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer."

"Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors? If they had 4 it would be a chicken sedan."