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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Arrrr, but his true love be the sea"

"To the raisin I just beat to death with my shoe.. Eww! I thought you were a spider. Eww! Someone's bringing raisins in my house."

"McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware."

"friendzone how many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"What stresses fish out the most? Current events."

"How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!"

"Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if they had four it would be a chicken sedan."

"I was at the confessional booth the other day and I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating He said ""Sure, If it bothers you, I'll stop""."

"I tried writing with a broken pencil... until I realized there was no point."

"How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake."