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Joke of the Day

"IHTGYATSWTFIM = I had to Google your acronym to see what the fuck it meant."

"Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall I said maybe"

"Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon."

"5-year-old: Why do you do chores if you don't like to? Me: The same reason you eat your vegetables. 5: Because Mom is scary? Bingo."

"[graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great"

"A biker got mad at me today, just because he ran into a stop sign... Doesn't he realize that an open hand means 'STOP'?"

"A kiss can make your day Anal can make your hole weak"

"The past, present and future walk into a room. It got all tense."

"DON'T make this weird... (I whisper in your ear, as I pet your eyebrows)"

"What is a downies favourite song? Hot potato. Hot potato."