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Joke of the Day

"wife: 9 got a ninja costume. Pretend you can't see him 9 [standing in front of the fridge] *giggles* me *hits him in the face with the door*"

"What do my tastes in food and pornography have in common? I prefer the kind with fruits and vegetables."

"It takes 10,000 bumper stickers to create just one vegan."

"Knock knock. Mailman."

"What do you call a black guy that visits r/jokes regularly ? A masochist"

"I'd like to thank my hands... I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them."

"the flight attendant came down the aisle holding out a bag of trash to me and i was like ""sure what the hell"" and grabbed a couple pieces"

"i need a hug(e amount of cash money)"

"Why is a woman's asshole like a 9 volt battery? Because we all know it's wrong but sooner or later we're gonna put our tongue on it."

"Why didn't Herbert Hoover get re-elected? Because he sucked."