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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to thank my hands... I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them."

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"Joe Biden marries two gay white house officials at his house. His wife isn't happy."
"Why did the wee duck hide in the cupboard and give the other wee fuck a fright? For the quak"
"I talked to a cannibal dog yesterday... He said it was a real dog-eat-dog world."
"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four, it'd be called a chicken sedan."
"Gay people, man. They're confused... ...and not thinking straight"
"Had a date with a lady I met on Christian Mingle. It was going fine until I told her I was Jewish & her half of the bill was $40 dollars."
"Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet? The second page of a youtube search."
"Why isnt Hitler invited to any BBQs? Cuhs he burns all the franks! Friend told me this, so im sorry if this has already been posted."
"There should be a horror movie where an item associated with childhood innocence is unexpectedly evil"