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Joke of the Day

"How do you piss off a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from"

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"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To say hello to the other side."
"Social Life Status: My friends are balloons with faces drawn on them. Stuart. My best friend. Popped two days ago."
"When people ask why I have a ""Trump 2016"" sticker on my car I say it's for safety. When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white."
"Did you hear about the guy with a fetish for public transportation? He got off at every stop."
"The problem with feminists... The problem with feminists is that they don't stop talking and I just want to fuck them."
"Why Don't I Have Laugh Lines? Because I never smile. :("
"Did you hear about the man who won a lifetime supply of Marijuana Lotion. He hit the jackpot."
"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face"
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