57696

Joke of the Day

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face"

"I just googled: how to deal with low frustration tolerance. In the first article, in the first paragraph, I yell at the screen, ""WELL THIS IS JUST FUCKING STUPID!"" True story."

"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"

"Where does a hedge knight invest his money? In a hedge fund"

"An Italian and a Jew go into business together, who looses? the government"

"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"

"I'm not one of those moms who knows all her kids by name."

"There's a lady at work named Lillian Llewellyn who carries a briefcase and I like to imagine it falling open and spilling a bunch of L's"

"You guys should stop with the 9/11 jokes. I think they're PLANE wrong! *sigh* EDIT: GRAMMAR CORRECTION"

"I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them."