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Joke of the Day

"? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be... ? Wait, hang on...my bad, those are vultures."

"A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead."

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards."

"How do you get a mermaid pregnant? You fuck her."

"The first rule of fight club is don't hit hard I'm very sensitive"

"I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It's called ""What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"""

"When the professor starts off the semester asking ""Why are you here?"" So I can get a job."

"What are the three words that men hate to hear during sex? ""Are you done?"""

"Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg. Or Ian."

"Q: ""Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"" A: ""It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."""