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Joke of the Day

"I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It's called ""What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"""

"Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working"

"Would you like to buy a second-hand computer? I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is."

"Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter."

"Why does heaven have such great wifi? Because of all the cloud space."

"Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat."

"psychic: ""I see... I see kids in your future"" me: ""but I've had a vasectomy"" [9 months later ... me tending a goat farm] ""This's bullshit"""

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"The only thing grosser than finding a hair in your Velveeta cheese is knowing the ingredients inside Velveeta cheese & continuing to eat it."

"Winrar is not free"