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Joke of the Day

"Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Anyone who bought WiFi please google ""Fatal Engine Error:38"" & come to Cockpit ASAP. Thanks"

"You know, I'm old enough to remember... When the worst thing you'd hear about on the news were highjacked jetliners flying into buildings. --Norm MacDonald"

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"The Great Wall of America... ...is gonna be made in China."

"Did you know ""bathtub"" backwards is still ""bathtub""? It's not, but for a second there you believed me."

"I've done it, finally. I invented a pill that makes your farts smell exactly the way your food tasted. Get me the President"

"I am terrified of elevators I am going to start taking steps to avoid them"

"What do you get when you put your hand in a blender? A hand shake."

"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"

"If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter."