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Joke of the Day

"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"

"For her birthday, I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a vibrator. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"Hilary Clinton, Bill O'Reilly and Brian Williams walk into a bar Well not necessarily a bar per se and they didn't actually walk in and they weren't together...Ok I made it all up"

"At midnight in the graveyard You can come across a grave with the name Billy McCrackin. If you go to the grave just after midnight and say ""Billy, What are you doing?"" He will say Nuthin'"

"TOP PLACES TO DO KARATE IN FRONT OF: 1. Sunset 2. Crashing waves 3. Dad's grave (as casket is lowered) 4. New stepdad's face 5. Quiznos"

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"What do you call a dog that can walk on its hind legs all the time? A human."

"Customer: ""Do you sell a 'best of' Enya album here?"" Cashier: ""What do you want - a blank CD?"""

"What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bag outside the breast cancer ward."

"What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door? It won't be long now..."