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Joke of the Day

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his balls. One guy says: ""Man I wish I could do that"" The other guy replies: ""Ya, you may want to pet him first"""

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you."

"BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then."

"All the workers at the nuclear reactor plant left work. They left a sign at the door. What did it say? Sorry! Gone fission."

"Post your original made up joke. No old jokes you've already posted. Here's mine: How did the Asian porn-star become president? By Generar Erection!"

"Independence Day was basically aliens blew shit up and then we gave them a copy of Windows and won the war."

"So these two blondes walk into a building.. You would have thought one of them would have seen it."

"What did the conformist say to the Guru? You make me Sikh!"

"I hope Joe Biden will run for president in 2020 Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time..... I'm sorry"

"What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken? No weigh..."