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Joke of the Day

"Two snowmen are standing in a field. One leans over to the other and asks ""you smell carrots?"""

"A boy was sent home from school... And his mum says to him 'that's the second time this week you have been sent home because students were giving you handjobs. Maybe teaching isn't for you.'"

"My girlfriend told me I was a pedophile I told her, ""that's an awfully big word for a six year old""."

"[paddling silently along the amazon in 2-man kayak taking in it's beauty] *from behind me* you know they named this after a website"

"What's online, about to comment, and very judgmental?"

"Supposedly Adam Ant has been trying to impress Robert Plant for years... ...everyone knows Adam Ant doesn't move Robert Plant, but he's got high hopes."

"There was a big water fall in usa I believe its still there"

"A baby seal walks into a club... That's it. A baby seal walks into a club. o_o"

"How does a woman take care of her asshole? She packs him a lunch and sends him to work."

"Mickey Mouse is in court ... the judge looks and Mickey and says ""Why are you divorcing Minnie? is she crazy?"" Mickey looks at the judge and says ""No. She is fucking Goofy"""