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Joke of the Day

"So Donald Trump was pounding this chick and she started moaning ""oh daddy!"" Then he said, ""I know I am your daddy Ivanka"""

"Think of a thing. Theres an e cig flavor for that."

"I treat you like a son But you treat me like a son of a bitch! Made me laugh for 5 mins when I heard it lol"

"Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven."

"I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes."

"[first date] I had a great time. Not tonight, but I've had a great time before."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"

"What do you need when you're not doing well in your Advanced Placement U.S. History class? A Push"

"I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you."

"The reason I'm so happy today is because I got a penis enlarger... She's 18 years old!"