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Joke of the Day

"You have no idea how funny I am to me."

"How do you get four old ladies to shout ""Fuck""? Get the fifth one to yell, ""Bingo!"""

"My Grandma told me today that men were much more charming when she was young... I told Grandma that that was because they aren't trying to fuck her anymore."

"What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to? Prostate"

"phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget"

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"Hey you! Did you lose your nose? I just found it in my business."

"Hipsters came before the chicken and the egg."

"I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit."

"Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism."