171809
Joke of the Day
"I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit."
Next Joke
"My bird puns are so EGG-cellent - Do you wanna hear a bird pun? - No - Well... this is HAWK-ward - dammit"
"Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September."
"What is a mushrooms favorite type of music? Hyphae"
"It's pretty rude how they'll kick you out of the hospital just for using a defibrillator to make a grilled cheese sandwich."
"Elephant circumcision... ...The pay's rubbish but the tips are enormous."
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it takes nine visits."
"My friend Sid was a victim of ID theft. Now he is known as S."
"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""
"Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition."