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Joke of the Day

"in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on"

"Where do Chinese babies come from? Vachina"

"Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?"

"My girlfriend has terrible eyesight... she's always accidentally sleeping with other guys. Poor girl."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"what is Mozart doing now? decomposing"

"You know what'd be an AMAZING prank for April Fool's Day, Reddit? If you could stay up for 24 hours straight :3"

"Stop calling it ""sweater weather"" and call it what it really is, ""I don't have to shave my legs for 6 months weather."""

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it."

"Apparently telling someone you'll catch their next wedding is unacceptable, whatevers."