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Joke of the Day

"6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?"

"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""

"When a girl comes over for a date, I make sure I leave a hammer and measuring tape on the counter so she doesn't suspect that I watch Glee"

"What's the average lifespan of an owl? About six and a half books."

"Veni, VD, vici I came, I caught, I cankered"

"What's the difference... between a girls mouth and a girls vagina? There is none! I want my penis to be inside both of these things."

"A friend of mine recently asked me what ballerina's wear... But I just couldn't put tu and tu together."

"""I don't really know my best position. left, right or center"" ""Wayne, just get on the fcuking plane and pick an aisle will you."""

"My blind friend texted me from his new phone today! It said ""gwi u dor srw ofjrd"""

"Why Republicans cannot swim as freely as they want? Dems!"