184626

Joke of the Day

"I used to be into bestiality, sadism, and necrophilia... But eventually I realized I was beating a dead horse."

"My wife was on eBay this afternoon... No bids yet"

"How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb? Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs."

"Where do football directors go when they are fed up ? The bored room !"

"*early humans discovering sleepiness* noooo!! what is this, im shutting down? dying??? *waking up later* wow, i love that. gonna do it a lot"

"Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press? It's sodapressing."

"Can't believe tomorrow is Take Your Alcohol to Work Day."

"My bank sends a text with my balance. It's a nice feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary."

"Turtles sniff tails to find mates but when I do it, it's ""disturbing"" & I ""need to leave yoga,"" or ""at least wait til I'm off the treadmill"""

"A Jewish boy asks his Father... A Jewish boy asks his Father, ""Dad, can i have 50 pence please? His Father replies, ""40 pence! What do you want 30 pence for?"""