179055

Joke of the Day

"the cats out of the bag now... now the cats in the bag but you can still see its tail.. now the cats rolling around in some sand and dirt"

"I really wish I knew who removed the jack from under the car I was working on. The suspension is killing me."

"Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff? Tequila..."

"One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now."

"A photon walks into a hotel The bell boy walks up and asks, ""Do you have any luggage?"". ""No,"" says the photon, ""I'm traveling light."""

"""Someone called me a butterface today! Is that bad?"" ""Well it's *half* a compliment."""

"What do you call a disabled Lego? An O."

"""Hey Fred"" Yeah Barney? ""The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band"" Yeah but ABBA do!"

"It was actually the muslims who invented the C4 explosive... But it was the US:Army who later added a remote detonator."

"What's the difference between Polio and 9/11? The government actually wanted to stop Polio."