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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Jewish folk from New Jersey? Orange juice."

"Did you hear the one about the man who got swallowed by a whale? Turns out he survived by running all the way to the end until he was all pooped out!"

"When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them ""Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours""."

"What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league? Rink injustice!"

"Great weight loss tip: Become an astronaut."

"Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards"

"And God Said to John... ""Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life."" But John came fifth and he won a toaster"

"How do you get four old ladies to yell ""FUCK?"" Get one to yell ""BINGO!"""

"What do gay horses eat? Dick"

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."