198093

Joke of the Day

"I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"" Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"Big thanks to all the women out there who pretend that scrotums aren't super weird."

"My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004"

"I'm a dyslexic tree... My life is A-OK!"

"How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The bear minimum"

"How does one turn a fox into a pig?.. ...Marry her."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid."

"Red light : Stop Yellow light : Proceed w/ caution Green light : Wait till everyone hates you then go"

"What did Jay Z say when his friend died? No Biggie."

"You're lifting weights dude, you're not in labor. Settle down."