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Joke of the Day
"If we take a shower together and sing... Then we can do it while we duet"
Next Joke
"How are burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend related? All come from not pulling out on time."
"Wife sneezed... ... and told me she was allergic to my hotness. My response: so do you break out in sex?"
"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy .... .... I hear you ask."
"How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement."
"If Clinton is elected president... It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other..."
"Wife: I read my mom that funny tweet you wrote. Me: Don't you mean THOSE funny TWEETS? Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: No. No, I don't."
"Damn girl, are you Miley Cyrus? I fucking hate you."
"What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones? White Mail Privilege"
"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."