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Joke of the Day

"Never give a baby alcohol unless you want him to go on and on about, ""the blacks."" Racist fucking babies."

"""Do you need a ride?"" Me, to every jogger I pass in my car"

"What did the 40 year old pregnant lady say when her husband asked her ""why are you so upset"" ""I'm having a midwife crisis"""

"Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?"

"Government confiscated all the syrup from a syrup factory. Owner of the factory says, ""Why do you need all this syrup?"" The government worker says: ""That's mollasified."""

"Smoking causes a huge financial burden that's shared by all of us, so it only makes sense that they get a bunch of extra five minute breaks."

"What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza A pizza can feed a family of four"

"Just been fined 500 for having a joint in my greenhouse. I guess people in glass houses shouldn't get stoned."

"Life advice: If someone ever tells you ""I'll be there in thirty minutes"", you should ALWAYS respond with ""You've got twenty"" and hang up."

"What dance did the Rastafarian teach Ash Ketchum? Dah okey pokey mon."