39974

Joke of the Day

"I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend ""because I'm such a pretty girl"". I'm a psycho, grandma."

"What do you call a robot with bad breath who's sister lives on its foot? HAL-i-toe-sis"

"WHAT KIND OF BAND PLAYS SNAPPY MUSIC? A RUBBER BAND."

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

"Sometimes I scratch my balls and then smell my fingers. It's not a big deal really"

"I scaled Everest! And I give nicknames to fish."

"What's red with seven dents Snow Whites cherry"

"""Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq."" ""Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"""

"What is the only alcoholic beverage Muslim extremists are permitted to drink? Smirnoff ISIS"

"I finally found a girlfriend! She was lost untill she found me. I'm glad I could give her a ride to her boyfriend's house."