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Joke of the Day

"Do not break eye contact with your waitress as you put the spaghetti in your wallet."

"30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her."

"My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks"

"What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad"

"Why are blind people bad at math? Because they lack da-vision."

"Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^-- ^Ed ^Byrne"

"""NSFW"" Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can cum on its face afterwards."

"People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference. Hitler was good at making speeches"

"What's the difference between hard and light? You can sleep with a light on."

"The reason God calls all of us his children is so he can claim us all as dependents."