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Joke of the Day

"Why are stock traders so good at sex? Same principal, you gotta pull out at the right moment or it costs you."

"Welcome to Syria! You'll have a blast :)"

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."

"Do you know how to disappoint a fellow redditor? [deleted]"

"You guys hear about the hippy who drowned? He was too far out, man."

"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"Three-legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says to the bartender, ""I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."""

"What's a rapper's favorite candy? Eminems."

"I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out. He's a milk dud."

"What do you call old, expired Neosporin? Paleosporin"