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Joke of the Day

"What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas? I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet."

"If ""loving you"" is wrong, then i don't want to be right!"

"How do pirates measure rope? In yarr'ds."

"What do you call a bee's rear end? A Bee-Hind"

"Wondering why my jokes aren't being upvoted. All of my employees laugh at my jokes, so I'm obviously a funny guy."

"Simba was going too slow, so I told him to Mufasa."

"How do you fit 100 dead babies in a barrel? with a blender. How do you get them out? With a straw."

"What do French athletes wear? Jaques straps"

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"So my dad gathered all of us kids together and said ""Now I'm only going to say this once!"" .... then turned and walked away."