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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a penis [dirty] Life is like penis...... Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely.... Then a woman make it hard"

"Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities."

"What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do? Circuit training."

"A priest and a rabbi... A priest and a rabbi see a young boy. Priest: ""Let's fuck him."" Rabbi: ""Out of what?"""

"Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves."

"Cruz picked Fiorina as his running mate. She probably gives better head than Kasich."

"While everyone was fighting the walkers... ...who was keeping an eye on Corral?"

"I think I've found the cure for AIDS. It was in the bathroom cabinet after all."

"If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail."

"Yo momma joke Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""