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Joke of the Day

"I dressed up for Halloween today.. I went as someone who suffers from dyslexia"

"A Lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar! The Barman says ""I'm serving narnia"""

"I saw a guy at the beach yelling ' Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed at him... I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"'I have trains ran on me all the time.' - Railroads. Or my ex-girlfriend."

"One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now."

"Brake fluid I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."

"How much calcium is in a kiss? Enough to make a bone hard."

"I'm typically attracted to guys who look like I'll need therapy after dating them."

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"Life is like a bag of jelly beans Everyone hates the black ones Edit: First time I've seen this tag! Woot Woot!"