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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral It was a dead zone"

"I wonder if Ronald McDonald sadistically cackles as he bludgeons innocent chickens and uses clown magic to turn them into nuggets."

"As a Canadian I like to go clubbing; but if theres no seals around..."

"What dance did the Rastafarian teach Ash Ketchum? Dah okey pokey mon."

"What's black & grey and also looks good on a cop? The World Trade Center"

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"Why do the bees have honey? Because they have a queen. If they had a parliament, they would have had nothing."

"What can you say about lots of protected sex? It is a common misconception"

"3-year-old: Daddy, I love you *hugs me* Me: I love y- Did you wipe your mouth on my shirt? Most of fatherhood is just being a good napkin."