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Joke of the Day

"Why are storms always called girls names? Because when they come they are always wet and uncontrollable, and when they disappear they take or destroy all your stuff"

"How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone"

"It was 109 degrees where I live today. Now I know what it felt like to be a Jew during World War 2."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock into a girls mouth. -the daily show"

"Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?"

"What do you call a boat with a hole? A sink."

"Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table? Sir Cumference. He at too much Pi. He ate approximately 3.142 slices"

"My dirty language got me suspended in school but many years later I get rewarded with stars and retweets, never give up on your dreams kids."

"Did you hear about the snail who used to be shipped around the world in wooden crates? He was ex-cargo."

"How do you fit 5,000 Jews into a Volkswagen? Two in the front, three in the back and the rest in the ashtray."