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Joke of the Day

"A man walks up to the counter at the airport. ""Can I help you?"" asks the agent. ""I want a round trip ticket"" says the man. ""Where to?"" asks the agent. ""Right back to here."""

"I saw a man with a board saying 'Repent for you're sin's, the end of the world is nigh'. I thought 'That's a bad sign'."

"[I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means... [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]"

"Maybe, ""only if you're taking me to dinner"" wasn't the best response to, ""is this going down?"" to the guy on the elevator. Flirting is hard"

"Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns."

"I swear, just as she was falling asleep, my seven-year-old murmured ""giggity."""

"How do you propose to a stoner? Marriage ya wanna?"

"How do you excite an idiot? I'll tell you later."

"What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth."

"Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for indecent jurisprudence? He got off on a technicality"